Friend: There you go dog, better scoop her up. She got that junk in the trunk.
Me: Waste Management need to come pick that up then.
This thing with people being praised for assholery because they’ve achieved some form of notoriety or monetary success is dumb as fuck to me.
I don’t give two fucks rubbed together for warmth who you are,what you do, or how good you look. You won’t address me any old type of way without me letting you know which turn you got me fucked up at.
Me: *walking into store*
Lady coming out: “DAMN, YOU BIG!”